


Dust of Snows

by LunarisXXXIII



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Abuse, Babybones, Big Brother Papyrus, Big Brother Sans, Hints of Dadby, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Minor Injuries, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Swearing, Unethical Experimentation, depictions of violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-12
Updated: 2020-09-15
Packaged: 2020-12-09 13:37:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 17,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20995694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LunarisXXXIII/pseuds/LunarisXXXIII
Summary: The Kingdom of Monsters sealed beneath Mt. Ebbott is a kingdom divided.After the deaths of the Royal Children and Asgore’s declaration of war, the order was given that any humans who fall would be killed and their souls used to break the barrier and for a time, the citizens of the kingdom were content to wait for all seven souls that were needed.It wasn’t until many years later after the next human’s fall and subsequent death that many monsters spoke out against the King’s decree and insisted that the human soul should be absorbed and used to free the kingdom. It wasn’t long before civil war broke out amongst the people of the Underground.The group that wanted to use the soul eventually lost the battle and were forced to the lands far from the Capital, the whole of these places serving as a prison for the defeated monsters. Waterfall and Snowdin have long since been forsaken, their residents a mix of dissenters and criminals sent away by the Capital.When Sans and his brother receive information regarding strange incidents occurring in town over the last few weeks, their investigation leads them to discover something that will shake the whole kingdom to it’s core.





	1. Desertion

**Author's Note:**

> The way a crow  
Shook down on me  
The dust of snow  
From a hemlock tree
> 
> Has given my heart  
A change of mood  
And saved some part  
Of a day I had rued.
> 
> -Robert Frost

It was an ugly day in Snowdin. Wind was howling, snow was falling. On days like this, guys like Sans were heading to Grillby’s for a warm drink. The pleasant warmth of the bar rolled over him as soon as he opened the door, sending a shiver down his spine. The dogs momentarily looked up from their cards to see who had walked in before going back to their game. Sans took his usual seat at the bar and turned to the blue flame behind it with his signature grin.

“heya grillbz, howzabout something to warm up these old bones?” He asked with a wink.

Grillby, immune to his attempts of humor at this point, simply nodded before retreating to the kitchen, returning several minutes later with a steaming mug that he placed in front of him.

As a skeleton, cold didn’t really affect him as much as it did more fleshy monsters, but Sans did much prefer heat to cold, unlike Boss who would prefer to leave the thermostat completely off most of the time. That was always a nice surprise when he came home, Sans thought bitterly.

Normally after he finished serving customers Grillby would be back towards his spot at the bar, cleaning glasses or the like, but now he was hovering since having handed Sans his drink.

“got something for me grillbz?” Sans asked in a hushed tone.

The elemental nodded almost imperceptibly. “...been hearing some...odd things from the dogs...someone going through people’s trash in town...they haven’t been able to track down the culprit either...”

That got Sans’ attention. The Dogi were known for being able to tell people apart in crowds just based on scent, relying on that where their poor eyesight failed them. Someone being able to run from their noses was unprecedented and a huge threat to Snowdin’s security. Just as Sans was trying to think of alternate tracking methods, Grillby’s voice cut through his thoughts.  
“...there was one thing though...according to the dogs... the perpetrator was likely a skeleton monster...”

Sans felt his sockets widen, “a skeleton? yer sure?” The flame nodded a confirmation.

Skeletons were an extremely rare breed of monsters nowadays. They had been numerous during the time of the monster human war, their forces making up the bulk of the monster’s front lines, but by the time they were sealed in the mountain, few remained. Then the mass Falling occurred, as many monsters succumbed to their hopelessness after being sealed away and the skeleton population, along with many other monster types, were pushed to the brink of extinction. As far as Sans knew, he and his brother were the only two between here and Waterfall and he was sure he would have heard about any more getting sent from the capital.

Sans finished off his drink and dropped a few gold coins onto the bar top, “thanks for the drink grillbz, see ya later.” He usually didn’t pay for drinks, instead opting to put them on his tab until the end of the week, but Grillby required pay for information upfront and Sans certainly wasn’t going to risk the flame’s ire today.

As he dropped off the barstool, he braced himself for the cold once more, thinking silently to himself.

_Boss’s gonna want to hear about this._

————-

Sans stood by surveying the wreckage before him, poking a bit of scattered garbage with the toe of one sneaker. This house was the most recent victim of the trash-rifling Grillby had told him about. It had been nearly three days since they had started tracking the elusive monster, and for all three days they had been coming up almost completely empty. 

He _had_ been successful on one front, though.

Sans had investigated the last area the monster had been spotted, following what remained of their and the dogs’ footprints to where they disappeared just past the tree line. Like he’d been hearing, the footprints ended abruptly, the only trace of this monster’s presence vanishing into thin air.

It was barely clinging to the area after so much time had passed, but Sans could feel the lingering trace of the Void’s presence in the air. Their little friend hopping in and out of there definitely explained their comings and goings from the town going largely unnoticed. If their search party couldn’t get their hands on some sort of magic dampener, there was no way they’d be able to keep their quarry from simply disappearing again once they found them.

The footprints left undisturbed by the dogs’ were able to confirm the information Grillby had said before, definitely a skeleton judging by the shallower depth of the prints and knobbled impression left behind. What actually surprised him was how much smaller the footprints were than his own; this monster was either much younger or a lot smaller than Sans and he was already on the shorter side.

Sans huffed out a cloud of misty breath as he thought it over. 

Whoever they were, this monster wasn’t LV mad, otherwise the Guard would already have a pile of dust to deal with. Rather than confront those that chased them, they had done their best to stay out of sight and FLEE rather than FIGHT. No, this monster visited Snowdin out of absolute necessity, and judging by the mess around him, they were likely just hungry.

So, that left them with some starving skeleton kid with very strong magic running around a forest full of murderers and avoiding people at all costs. A skeleton that they still had no clue as to how they ended up in Snowdin in the first place.

Sans sighed loudly. This whole situation was annoying, cutting into his already limited time for napping with all the actual work he now had to do.

“WHELP!” 

Sans nearly jumped out of his skin (heh) as a piercing voice cut through his thoughts. He looked up to see his brother’s fierce glare leveled in his direction.

“If You Are Just Going To Stare Off Into Space Then Your Considerable Talents In Slacking Could Surely Be More Useful Elsewhere!” Papyrus growled, the dogs near him cringing away at the anger in his tone.

“sorry boss, won’t happen again.” Sans replied, trying to sound at least somewhat apologetic. Based on his boss’s reaction, he wasn’t as successful as he’d hoped. Oh well.

“‘m gonna go check out where the tracks disappear, i’ll let ya know if i find anything.” Sans continued nonchalantly, turning on a heel towards the forest.

“You Had Better...” Sans heard Papyrus mutter before he entered the forest’s sparse canopy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first multi-chapter fic that has an actual plot to it :D Just fair warning for those who care that for right now I don’t have an update schedule planned for this fic and can’t guarantee timely updates :(


	2. Reconnaissance

Sans carefully picked his way through the frozen landscape, easily following the path left by the fleeing monster. Like the last trail left behind, this one cut off abruptly just out of sight from the treeline. He deliberately cast out his awareness, hoping to feel that trace of the Void he’d sensed the last time. 

Yep, definitely there. The familiar feeling of darkness washed over him as he tried to pinpoint the rift his quarry had opened up. The Void’s presence was much clearer this time, a few hours old at most, leaving him hopeful about using it to track them down.

It was a trick he learned when he had just started teleporting and opening temporary rifts to the Void still took an unreasonable amount of magic. Rifts took time to close after being used, leaving little “entrances” that could be used again within a certain time frame. By hopping through these instead of tearing open whole new rifts, he was able to conserve his magic and still move around quickly, perfect for long distances or making return trips. He’d never had the chance to try it with someone else’s portals but he guessed that now was as good a time as any to see if it worked.

As soon as his magic re-opened the portal, Sans stepped through, quickly noting how disorienting it was in comparison to his own shortcuts. He came out in an area much deeper in the forest if the barely visible lights from Snowdin in the distance were any indication.

He quickly looked back to the ground. The tracks he had been following continued deeper still into the forest with no signs of stopping. Figured they wouldn’t just make it easy for him and drop straight into their home base... Sans let out an exasperated sigh and began following the tracks, his footfalls silent even as he made his way through the snowfall.

After about five minutes of walking, Sans had noticed a change in his quarry’s pace. Their footfalls were becoming closer together as they slowed their pace, becoming noticeably more comfortable the farther they got from town. He took this to mean he was approaching their home base and redoubled his efforts to remain both unseen and unheard as he tried to spy any sort of structure.

A small tug at his ankle had him leaping backwards and out of potential danger as he realized he’d stumbled right into a trap. Loud clattering drew his attention upwards as he braced to dodge an unknown danger. 

It was... a bunch of trash...? A thin rope dangled in the tree high above him, empty cans and glass bottles strung together and rattling against each other like an odd wind chime. The sound cut through the dead silence of the forest as the noise finally tapered off.

Shit. There was no way they wouldn’t be expecting him now. Apparently they were more cautious than he had anticipated, setting up an early warning system for anyone that managed to get close to their base. If they hadn’t already bolted, they would be more than ready for a fight. Sans definitely didn’t like his odds against a still as-of-yet unseen enemy on their home turf, especially not knowing what other sorts of traps may be lying around. For now it would be best to report back to the boss and figure out where to go from there.

He mentally took note of the area to ensure he could return later via shortcut and headed back the way he came.

Unbeknownst to Sans, a pair of dimly glowing eyelights watched him unblinking from the snowy brush before disappearing soundlessly into the white and grey landscape.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I try to go over these pretty thoroughly for errors, but please let me know if I’ve missed something it is much appreciated :)


	3. Zone of Action

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My computer deleted a part of this chapter as I was writing it and I never really got it back to the way I had it :(

Sans emerged from the forest to the sight of his brother standing alone amongst the trash still strewn about haphazardly, the dogs having presumably being sent off on other tasks. As he approached, Sans deliberately allowed himself to be heard, watching Papyrus’ head swivel around immediately.

“Well?” He demands, his arms crossing as he looks at his brother impatiently.

“they’re definitely usin’ the void to get around. i followed ‘em to their base’s general area, but they had stuff set up to alert ‘em of intruders.”

Papyrus took his words in, nodding slowly as he thought. “The More We Look Into This, The Less It Seems To Be The Case Of A Skittish Newcomer Or Runaway Child. Something Odd Is Going On Here.” Papyrus stands in silent contemplation for a long moment before refocusing on the present. 

“In Any Case, They Would Be Expecting Us If We Were To Pursue Them Now, It Would Be Prudent To Keep Our Distance. In The Meantime We Can See About Finding A Way To Counter Their Teleporting.” He states, completely assured in his decision.

“yer the boss, boss.” Sans jokes, receiving a satisfying eye roll from his brother. Without missing a beat, he pulls them both through a shortcut, stepping out into the familiar landscape of their living room.

Sans settles himself on their lumpy couch even as Papyrus stalks off towards the kitchen, the loud clattering of pots signaling the beginnings of dinner preparations. Sans felt himself drifting off to sleep even as his mind raced with questions about the monster they were set to find.

——-

After about a day, Sans and Papyrus had gone back to the supposed campsite, finding all the traps and tripwires Sans had mentioned noticing before completely absent. As expected, the monster had moved locations now that its’ safe haven was no longer secret. The frustrating part was that they hadn’t been able to find a way to track them. 

They hadn’t used the Void as Sans hadn’t found any trace of a rift, but there was also no sign of how they had managed to travel otherwise, any tracks in the area seeming to loop back on themselves without actually going anywhere. While Papyrus was having trouble trying to figure out how they had managed their complete disappearance, the raids on the town’s trash had stopped as well, leading the two skeletons to wonder where the monster was getting their food from.

It was nearly a week before there was another lead regarding the mysterious monster.

Papyrus had been on his regular patrol of Snowdin when Sans came tearing through one of his shortcuts in front of him, wasting no time with explanations before dragging the both of them through another shortcut to where the monster had been spotted. The third and final shortcut through their quarry’s rift left Papyrus nauseous, reminding him of exactly why he hated using his brother’s shortcuts, especially in quick succession. When his boots finally touched snow, Papyrus took only a moment to assess his surroundings before he was off like a shot, racing through the woods after the tracks the monster had left behind.

With how quickly Sans seemed to have gotten word about the sighting, Papyrus felt the odds were in their favor for finding the monster before they managed to return to their new hidey-hole.

He suddenly noticed an odd break in stride of the footprints he followed, realization hitting him too late as the loud clattering from above signaled his setting off of one of the trip wires his brother mentioned. A barricade of blue bones shot up from the ground in front of him, but instead of slowing down to dodge around the trap he increased his pace, a single leap allowing him to clear the obstacle with ease. Knowing his presence revealed, Papyrus could only press onwards ignoring the clanging of additional traps and dodging barricades he set off in his wake.

He soon began to hear soft noises up ahead, a small form coming into view as they continued to run through the snow. Papyrus’ bigger form and longer strides allowed him to easily catch up with them and for the first time, he looked upon the monster who had been causing him so many headaches this past week.

They were absolutely tiny, maybe reaching the tops of his femurs standing at their full height. The clothes they wore over too-thin bones were ragged and dirty, lacking stripes of any kind to identify them as the child he was certain they were. When they turned to look back at him, their sockets were wide, dull white eye lights watching him with an unpleasant mixture of exhaustion and fear, their perma-grin more of a grimace.

Papyrus made a grab for them as soon as he was in range, his claws meeting empty air as the monster nimbly dodged away from him. Despite this, he continued on the offensive, trying to make it impossible for them to focus long enough to teleport away and continue this cycle anew.

Thankfully for him, the week-long wait for a sighting had done some good; it had been plenty of time to acquire a magic dampener, something usually reserved for prisoner transports from the capital, that would end any risk of them teleporting away. The only problem now was actually putting it on them.

The little skeleton, though unable to match Papyrus in distance racing, was giving him a run for his money (Goddamnit) in close range, dancing just out of reach each time he struck. And though Papyrus didn’t have any inclination to attack the obviously fragile monster before him, it was rather odd that the skeleton hadn’t used any attacks of their own to defend themselves, obviously terrified as they were.

Just as that thought crossed his mind, he noticed a blur of black in his peripheral vision, the monster in front of him giving a strangled yelp as Sans shot out from the woods and latched onto their arm with a firm grip. Without missing a beat, Papyrus grabbed their other wrist, snapping on the dampener and grinning triumphantly. 

He watched the skeleton’s eye lights shrink to pinpricks as they realized their situation, immediately attempting to claw off the offending article.

“end of the line kid, yer not getting out of this so easily.” Sans stated, adjusting his grip to keep them from squirming.

The monster’s eyes were wide with fear as they glanced around wildly, searching for any means of escape. Papyrus rolled his eyes.

“Calm Yourself Child, We Have No Intention Of Harmi-“ Papyrus was cut off as a blur whistled past him, connecting with Sans’ skull with a sickening _crack_, his brother dropping limp into the snow.

Papyrus didn’t even think, reacting to the unseen threat by sending a volley of sharpened bone attacks in the direction of the shot. A muffled cry of pain from somewhere in the underbrush signaled that one of his attacks had struck true, but Papyrus didn’t turn look, instead opting to CHECK his brother as he lay lifeless in the snow.

**Sans the Skeleton**

**ATK 5**

**DEF 5**

**HP 1/5**

***Your fragile older brother**

***That’s gonna hurt in the morning**

Papyrus didn’t even have time to let out a sigh of relief as a muffled whimper sounded from his right, followed closely by high-pitched whining. He turned towards the sound and locked eyes with a sinister-looking skull that was currently charging an attack, white light gathering behind razor teeth. He grabbed his brother, easily hefting the smaller monster under one arm as he dodged out of the way of the blast.

A white-hot beam of light shot from the beast’s maw, carving a sizzling trench through the snow where they had been just moments before. As the skull faded from existence, Papyrus looked to see the small skeleton rattling loudly as they glared at him with darkened sockets, the dampener laying discarded in the snow several feet away. One moment they were giving him a death glare, the next they had shot off towards the area Papyrus’ attacks landed, a pop of displaced air signaling their disappearance.

Silence enveloped the forest as Papyrus took a moment to calm himself and assess the chaos that had just occurred. It had been a bone attack that struck Sans and the small skeleton had been restrained by the dampener at that time, which meant they were dealing with not just one, but _two_ unknown skeleton monsters running about. 

He looked to his unconscious brother, remembering the slim margin by which he had clung to life after being hit. It shouldn’t have been possible for him to still be alive. With Sans’ low HP and DEF, any attack that hit while his guard was down should have been fatal. Yet, his brother was alive and breathing peacefully from where he was clutched in Papyrus’ arms. That meant whoever hit Sans had not only lacked killing intent, but had the precise skill with magic control needed to avoid killing him.

Rather than pondering this further, Papyrus stood, attempting to spot the lights of Snowdin through the wooded landscape. He sighed in frustration as he finally saw the faint glimmer of lights far to the other side of the cave’s wall.

Fuck, it was going to be a long walk back without Sans to teleport them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Papyrus: My brother was nearly killed today and would have been dead had our enemy actually meant to hurt him...
> 
> Papyrus: This definitely doesn’t bother me in the slightest


	4. Intel

The next day found Sans spending his break at Grillby’s bar. He sat at his usual spot at the counter as he attempted to ignore the ache in his skull, a lingering reminder of the previous day’s fiasco.

The presence of the second monster and their manner of introduction had thrown both brothers for a loop. The one they had seen acted weird too, not taking a single swing at him or Papyrus despite their obvious terror. Well, not until their friend was wounded first anyway.

They certainly didn’t ACT like monsters from around here, but it didn’t make sense for them to have come from anywhere else either! 

“...something wrong..?” 

Sans’ head tilted up to look at the indigo flame as he forced himself to keep up his casual tone. “nah, not really. just ran into those ‘visitors’ you mentioned a while back.”

Grillby’s hands stilled for a brief moment as he carefully cleaned a shot glass. “......you hurt those kids..?” He asked carefully.

Sans looked to Grillby, affronted. “the hell kind of monster do ya th-“ Sans cut himself off as he processed what the elemental had just said.

“_kids._ as in kid plural, grillbz?”

Grillby’s flames flickered uncomfortably under Sans’ suddenly piercing gaze.

“we only found out about the second one recently, and i know me and boss didn’t say anything.” Sans growled, fixing the bartender with an empty-eyed glare, **“So how did you know there was more than one of them?”**

“...dogs told me...” Grillby answered, his flames calming as he casually continued cleaning, trying to appear unfazed by Sans’ attempt at intimidation. 

Sans’ grin turned sharklike as he continued to glare at the elemental. “damn, that was pretty good grillbz. if i didn’t already know ya were lying i might’ve even believed ya.” He leaned over onto the counter, chin in one clawed hand as his left eye glowed dangerously. “now, ya wanna try that again, **pal?**”

The elemental unwaveringly met his gaze, resolve hardening his expression as he remained silent.

Sans sighed and pushed back off the bar top. For as much of a hard-ass he made himself out to be, he knew the elemental, like many older monsters in Snowdin, had a real soft spot for kids; if the stubborn bastard thought for even a second that Sans wished them ill, he would clam up and nothing short of impending death would get him to budge. As frustrating as it was, Sans had to hand it to him, Grillbz had some serious integrity. 

Sans would have to choose his next words very carefully. “if ya really wanna help those kids ya best help us find ‘em. boss managed to hit one of ‘em during that scuffle in the woods and his ATK is nothing to sniff at. that kid’s gonna need medical attention as fast as we can get it to ‘em whether ya like it or not.”

That made the bartender hesitate, his movements stopping abruptly. 

“...thought you didn’t hurt them...” Grillby states, his flames crackling in barely-suppressed rage.

Whoops.

Sans shrugged. “one of ‘em was hiding in the bushes and tried to snipe me while we were chasing the other one. boss reacted. ya can’t honestly tell me that ya wouldn’t have done the same in his situation, ‘specially since we didn’t know there was a second one.” Sans adds pointedly.

Grillby said nothing, but the noise of his flames died down a great deal, a sure sign that he had managed to douse (heh) the worst of the elemental’s anger.

“now, how exactly do you know so much about the kids?”

The elemental stared at him a moment before reluctantly answering.  
“...have been coming here for several weeks...noticed the trash disturbed...figured they were hungry...started leaving things out for them...”

This is exactly what he was talking about. Most people would have reported them to the Guard or even attacked the children for trespassing on their property. Instead, Grillby gifts them free food and supplies like the doting grandparent he really is. Sans would call him a parent or uncle or something, but the Snowdin shopkeep had once let slip to him how old Grillby actually was and _yikes_. Honestly it was a miracle in itself that he was still kicking, but he guessed that had to do with elementals and their long-ass lifespans.

“...when i first saw them....was surprised...thought they might be relatives...skeletons are uncommon...”

“which is why ya told me about ‘em.”

Grillby nodded. “...first one was very small...shorter than you...very cautious... started showing myself...after several weeks...eventually stopped running away on sight...second one was taller...louder...less scared...brave enough to approach...thanked me for the food...”

_welp, they’ve won his loyalty for life._ Sans thought jokingly. His amusement faded a bit as he saw Grillby’s flames dim slightly.

“...usually around at night...food I left yesterday...still there...”

They must’ve spooked those kids pretty badly if they were willing to give up an easy meal, that or the second one was hurt worse than they thought...

“thanks grillbz, let me know if anything changes.” Sans said, sliding down off the barstool without waiting for the elemental’s response.

——-

“He’s Know About This For _Weeks_ And Simply Let Us Get Blindsided Like That?” Papyrus spat, his clawed hands clenching into fists as he began pacing their living room.

“yeah, i know boss. i ain’t happy ‘bout it either, but at least we’ve got a lead.” Sans stated from his place on the couch as he watched his brother wear holes in the carpet. “honestly, the fact he didn’t say anything is probably to our advantage right now, ya just need to chill out and think about it.”

Papyrus stopped abruptly, rounding on his brother in frustration. “And How Is That Exactly?” He hissed.

Sans schooled his expression into his usual lazy demeanor as he met his brother’s gaze unflinching. “for starters, we know which one of ‘em can teleport, which woulda been a pain in the ass to figure out late in the game and divided our attention. we know that at least one of ‘em doesn’t wanna kill people and has the skill to ensure that they won’t. we know a place they visit regularly that doesn’t change even if they move their base. _and_ we know that they aren’t even gonna fight back until at least one is in immediate danger.” He ticked off each point on a finger as he spoke. Papyrus visibly forced himself to relax as he listened to Sans, his hands unclenching slowly as his rage deserted him.

“You Are Right, We Now Have A Significant Amount Of Information To Work With Regarding These Two.” Papyrus relented. “The Problem Is That They Will Be Expecting Us Next Time, We Won’t Be Able To Surprise Them The Same Way Twice.”

“not a clue how we’re gonna do it,” Sans shrugs, “but we better move fast. after a scare like that, those kids might just skip town and if that happens there’s no guarantee we can find ‘em again.”

“Then I Had Best Start Planning How To Approach This.”

“i’ll help you out boss, y’know what they say; two skulls are better than one.” Sans said with a wink, drawing an aggravated groan from the other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter and the beginning of the next one sorta snuck up on me 0.0 This one got written a lot faster than usual, so if you notice any mistakes please let me know!


	5. SNAFU

It wasn’t until two days later that Sans received word from Grillby. Apparently the small skeleton had showed up again, looking worse for wear and a bit more skittish than usual, but fine overall. There had been no sign of the other one, which had only served to worry the elemental further (and if Papyrus was being honest, he was becoming concerned himself). They had planned to wait for the children to be returning on a more regular basis, but if the second child was still hurt badly enough that they couldn’t make their usual meetings with Grillby, they had to put their plan into motion as fast as possible.

That night, the brothers snuck around behind the bar, making sure to stay out of sight as they laid in wait Payrus behind a stack of empty crates and pallets and Sans... wherever the hell he was hiding, the sneaky bastard. After about half an hour, Grillby exited the bar with a to-go bag in hand, taking a seat in a folding chair set up nearby as he unknowingly joined in their stakeout.

Minutes passed. An hour. Papyrus desperately wanted to move and stretch his stiff joints, but knew that with his luck as of late that the moment he shifted would be the moment the child showed up. The wait continued for nearly two more hours before there was any sign of movement. Papyrus felt a small pang of guilt as the small skeleton emerged from the forest, apparently alone once again.

Grillby took notice of their appearance almost immediately, his flames brightening slightly as they approached, though he made no move to stand or otherwise close the distance between them. When they were close enough, Grillby carefully handed them the bag, his movements suggesting that he didn’t wish to cause them any unnecessary alarm. He then said something to them, the elemental’s words sounding like little more than vague mumbling from Papyrus’ place crouched behind a set of discarded crates many feet away.

For several minutes the two of them engage in quiet conversation, the child losing some of the tension in their bones as they continue to speak. Papyrus attempted to shift closer in the hope that he may be able to overhear what the pair are saying, taking one careful step and cringing at the soft sound it makes. 

Neither monsters reacts to the noise, carrying on in hushed tones, so Papyrus risks continuing forward, the words coming in to focus slowly.

“...worried...something I can do to help...?”

“we’ll be fine.”

“...are you certain...?...healing is difficult...dangerous if left alone...”

The child looked a bit uncertain at that.

“...could probably help...even if you only wanted...place to recover...”

Papyrus felt his eyebrows raise in surprise. Grillby was trying to convince the children to stay with him? If he managed that, then there would be no need for them to do anything for now, something he was sure Sans would be pleased with, the incorrigible lazybones.

The child appeared conflicted, their gaze darting back and forth between the elemental and their path through the forest. 

Everyone in the clearing jumped as a loud crack rang out, Papyrus quickly taking a step back from the brittle piece of wood that had found its’ way underfoot, but the damage had already been done. Both monsters’ heads snapped around towards the source of the noise, their conversation cutting off abruptly.

Papyrus mentally cursed his own lack of awareness, suddenly reminded of why Sans usually took care of literally anything to do with stealth.

He saw Grillby stand up straight, moving so that he was in between the child and the potential threat (him). “...come out now... trespasser...” He growled lowly, his flames snapping and hissing loudly in anger.

Papyrus sighed, berating himself for his clumsiness, before stepping out into the open.

“Oh No, You’ve Caught Me. Whatever Shall I Do?” 

The sparking rage Grillby had been displaying died down into surprise. “...lieutenant...why are you sneaking around...?”

Papyrus rolled his eyes at that. “What The Hell Do You Think I’m Here For? Certainly Not The Greasy Food.” Out of the corner of his eye he noticed the little skeleton attempting to slip away unnoticed. 

“And Where Do You Think You Are Going?” He asks pointedly looking at them just past Grillby. “Do You Really Think You Can Outrun Me Child? That Didn’t Seem To Work Out For You An Your Friend Last Time.”

At that they froze, their whole body rigid as they fully turned back around.

That wasn’t the face of the monster that had tried so desperately to FLEE from him the other day, the strain and desperation replaced with a too-wide grin and glaring sockets devoid of light.

———-

Sans had long since deserted the soon-to-be battlefield by this point, instead retracing the smaller’s steps once more through the suffocating darkness of the Void.

Divide and conquer was always a good backup plan.


	6. Kinetic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Papyrus POV

For someone who had been playing pacifist almost to a fault, the child was surprisingly skilled at combat, Papyrus thought as he dodged yet another volley of bone attacks.

The patterns they used were complex, varied and fast-paced, something that couldn’t be said for many of the guards he commanded in Snowdin. If he hadn’t already seen their _fucking laser cannons of death_ he might have even assumed they were coming at him full-force. Knowing his own LV-boosted stats, he was hesitant to send out any attacks of his own, instead opting to use them as shields against any sneaky moves his opponent used.

He made sure to keep distance between them, his movements forcing the child to advance in order to keep him within range of their attacks, eventually putting the pair halfway between the bar and forest. His foot slipped as he retreated, drawing a growl from Papyrus as another bone construct just barely missed him. Damnit, he really wished Sans was here to deal with this, subtlety was very much more his specialty than Papyrus’.

After about a dozen sets of attacks they seemed to slow down, the amount of magic they had used obviously weighing on them heavily.

“why can’t you just leave us alone? we never hurt anybody, we didn’t do anything wrong.” They asked him through ragged breaths.

“Because It Is My Job As A Member Of The Royal Guard.” He states simply.

“was worth a shot i guess...” They shrug, still trying to appear relaxed as their breath came in desperate gasps.

All at once Papyrus felt blue magic grab onto his soul and yank him to the ground hard, bones shooting up from the earth beneath him as he struggled to regain his footing. As soon as the blue disappeared and he was able to stand he was nearly sent sprawling again by the two rows of bones summoned to assault him and once _they_ were gone, four lasers materialized around him, the whine of charging magic filling the air. He dodged one set, then two, but was caught on the edge of the third blast, his armor doing nothing to protect against it.

His eyes went wide as he saw his HP draining rapidly, quickly extricating himself from the attack and sending a quick jab of magic to CHECK the other monster.

***83836982736983-49 **

***ATK 1**

***DEF 1**

***The easiest enemy. Can only deal 1 damage.**

**BULLSHIT! **

And what the fuck was wrong with their name?!

He growled as he dodged another wave of blue bones, knocking aside some that came too close for comfort. He needed to speed up his strategy before this became a problem.

Papyrus immediately started backtracking towards the woods once more, his eyes never leaving the child and their attacks as they shifted position and advanced in order to keep him within range.

One, two, three steps to the right.

MISS. 

Four more to the right, back up two.

MISS. 

He stumbles slightly, regaining his balance with just enought time to dodge the next row of bones.

Just one more step and-!

As soon as the skeleton steps on the plate making up the trigger, the cage’s walls snap together, trapping them inside the newly-formed structure. Papyrus had to fight back a cringe as he looked over his handiwork. The cage was pyramid-like in shape, four triangular sides surrounding the large metal plate that made up the base and heavy wire mesh welded in place along the main support structures. In Papyrus’ opinion it was crude, ugly and made him want to toss it off a cliff and start over again, consequences be damned, but now wasn’t the time for his perfectionist tendencies.

Though initially startled by the cage’s appearance, the small skeleton wasted no time in prepping a teleport to escape the confined space, a familiar pop of displaced air sounding as the skeleton disappeared-

-only to reappear slamming into the wall of the cage. Papyrus stifled a laugh as the skeleton shook off the impact, their expression one of dazed confusion. 

It was Sans that had suggested the use of something besides the dampener to stop their flight.

“we’re not gonna have a chance at catching these two if we have to focus on keeping them from takin’ swings at us since we can only get one of ‘em with the dampener. so, i think i’ve got an idea, but its gonna take a lot of work to put together.” He had said as they were discussing plans several days prior.

His suggestion had been to create something similar to a Faraday Cage, which normally used electrically conductive metals to block the transmission of electromagnetic waves. Modifying the design to block magic signals was actually fairly simple. It had to be made of metals that easily transmitted magic, the most readily available of which being iron and silver, as well as some of the crystals found in Waterfall for added effect. It had taken the better part of two days for them to gather the materials and turn them into a functioning trap, hiding it in the snow near the elemental’s bar when he wouldn’t notice. Even though he couldn’t argue with the results, Papyrus was almost ashamed to call the crude-looking contraption something of his design. 

Speaking of, the trap in question did seem to be holding up well under the onslaught it was currently enduring. After realizing that teleportation was no longer an option, the small skeleton had resorted to using just about any attack in their arsenal to escape despite their meager stamina. Multi-colored bone attacks cracked and crumbled against the walls, the pieces of loose magic either fading away into nothingness or being drawn into the metal as if by a magnet. He braced himself for the trap’s failure as he saw them pull one of those laser-skulls out of nowhere, the flash of white light still intense despite it’s small size.

To his surprise, not only does the cage continue to hold, but seems to now emit a faint glowing aura of residual magic barely noticeable in the dim light. The child falls to one knee, apparently exhausted by their efforts.

“Are You Done Yet?” He asks, allowing a bit of amusement to filter into his tone as he enjoys the rising anger in their expression.

Just as they look about ready to retort, something catches their eye behind him, their sockets going wide as the anger is replaced with fear once more. When he follows their gaze he is greeted by the welcome sight of his brother hauling a second skeleton monster alongside him, held aloft by their SOUL.

With a cheeky grin, Sans looks to his brother, “‘ey boss, look who followed me home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had waaaaay too much fun designing the trap they used in this one. Blame my sister, when I asked her how to stop someone who could teleport, she said to put them in a box that nullifies their powers. SO I DID! Mwahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!


	7. Hat Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a heads up, I changed the rating to mature on account of some late-game changes in plot I wasn’t expecting. So far I’ve been adding tags as I need them/things are introduced to the story, but if you notice anything missing or want a heads up on certain tags please let me know!

_Welp, Boss’s stepped in it now..._ Sans thought as he watched Papyrus get discovered. Time for Plan B.

Knowing his little brother could handle himself, even against stacked odds, Sans ignored the fight breaking out and instead retraced the child’s steps from the woods and slipping through the Void as he had before. 

When his feet hit the ground once more, he was surprised to find himself in an area of trodden-down snow, footprints going every which way as he looked about the clearing before him. His eyes fell on what looked like a pile of traps similar to the ones they had stumbled upon before, the light dusting of snow resting on top a clear sign of disuse. 

Shit. If those kids were in bad enough shape that they didn’t set out those traps even when they _knew_ they were being hunted, things might be worse than they’d thought.

Sans cast his gaze about, searching for whatever structure the children had been utilizing as a shelter, but with no luck. Had they disguised it? Just as the thought crossed his mind, the wind picked up around him and over the howl of wind and rustling of leaves he caught the distinctive sound of fabric flapping in the wind. He looked upwards surprised to find what appeared to be a cobbled-together tree fort, the sound coming from one of the ropes holding it aloft.

Cool, he found it. Now came the next issue: how he hell was he getting up there?!

The shelter sat among the higher branches of the tree, easily some 30 feet in the air above him. Damnit, he wished Papyrus was here. Sans had no doubt that as the more athletic of the two of them, his brother would have scoffed at how pitiful of a challenge this was before climbing the tree like a goddamned spider monkey. Sans on the other hand was definitely going to have to try teleporting because God did that ever sound like work and he’d rather try the risky-as-hell teleport before he sentenced himself to that kind of physical exertion when he couldn’t even reach the lowest branch (Seriously, fuck trees). There being no visible rope or ladder to get up didn’t help matters either.

Sans sighs and starts looking for a suitable platform to land on, somewhere that would be able to hold his weight and hopefully not just drop him immediately, his own clumsiness notwithstanding. Actually come to think of it, there being something to grab onto would probably be preferable. 

He finally spots a spot (heheheheheh) and one quick shortcut later, he’s on one of the main support branches for their fort. There’s a few tense seconds right as he lands where he almost slips and had to scrabble for a hold, but in the end he’s able to latch on and bring himself towards the front of the kids’ treehouse.

The flap marking the entrance makes a soft flapping sound as he opens it and he nearly jumps out of his skin as the pile of ragged blankets in the corner of the room starts screaming. 

“YOU’RE FINALLY BACK! YOU WERE GONE SO LONG I WAS STARTING TO-“ Their eyes go wide in shock as they see him, their smile fading into something nervous.

Finally getting a good look at the one who’d tagged him, he realizes that just about the only thing the two kids had in common was their ragged appearance. This one didn’t have eye lights, instead only having smaller empty sockets to see out of. Their teeth, though similarly blunted, were not pulled into a frozen grin like their friend, their jaw opening and closing when they spoke. The biggest difference was their height, even sitting down Sans could tell this one was easily a foot or two taller than the other kid, more similar to his own height.

They just sat there staring at him, waiting for something. You could cut the tension with a friggen knife for crying out loud. There had to be a way to make this less awful right? He didn’t want to have to wrangle a scared kid- a scared _hurt_ kid his brain reminded him- at the top of a rickety tree fort. He’s good at jokes, kids like jokes right?

“sorry i’m not who ya were expecting. to _patella_ the truth though, I was just sorta _skull-king_ around and happened across your _upstanding_ self.” 

He can see the exact moment the puns register, their face switching from mild terror to open suspicion.

“WAS THAT A PUN?!” They squawked, making him jump once more. They probably noticed, as they continued much more quietly. “I’ll have you know that I am in fact _not_ upstanding, as I am sitting down.”

Sans snorts at that. “that was pretty good kid,” He compliments. “but why is that exactly? it hurt to stand pal?”

They look nervous again at that, fiddling with one of the blankets gripped between their fingers.

“ya may not believe me, but i’m not here to hurt ya. y’see, my bro looks pretty scary lookin’, but he doesn’t wanna hurt nobody. he got real worried when he realized he probably hurt you pretty bad without meaning to.”

“Do you really mean that?” They asked hesitantly.

“mean what kid?” He asks patiently.

“That he didn’t mean to and that you and your brother aren’t bad?”

“my bro’s not bad for sure, being a good guy is a part of the royal guard job requirement.”

“Royal Guard?”

Sans nods proudly, he didn’t really get too many opportunities to gush about his cool younger brother. “yep, he’s the lieutenant, which makes him the highest ranked guy in town.”

“That Sounds So Cool!” They gasp excitedly.

“i know right?” Not a lot of people truly appreciated just how cool his brother was.

“I have one question though.”

“shoot.” Sans replies with a shrug.

“What’s the Royal Guard?”

Sans took a moment to recover from that one. Was this kid for real? They had to be messing with him, stalling or something, so he figured it was time to cut to the chase.

“how ‘bout this, ya let me take a look at where yer hurt and i’ll answer some more of yer questions.”

They looked disappointed for a brief moment before they nodded, gingerly pulling back the blankets they were still wrapped in to reveal crude bandages covering most of one leg. Sans approached slowly, carefully unwrapping the bandages to see the full extent of the damage. Yeesh. He’d meant it earlier when he told Grillby Papyrus’ attacks were nothing to just brush off.

The kid’s shin had a huge gash across it, running wide and deep as it passed through both of the bones on their right leg. No wonder their friend hadn’t been as mobile as usual, this kid wouldn’t able to walk, let alone run, so encountering any dangers in the woods would leave them a sitting duck. It looked like they were favoring one arm too, a quick look revealing a much shallower, mostly-healed cut across their shoulder on the opposite side. On the bright side, they probably wouldn’t scar if they were allowed to be healed properly.

He kneels down next to them, pulling out some first-aid bandages from his inventory. Wasn’t a whole lot, but they were made with green magic so they should at least dull the pain he was sure they were feeling. Just as he’s finishing his inspection, they pipe up again.

“I, um... I’m sorry I hit you...” They mumble, avoiding his eyes.

Sans blinks at them dumbly for a moment. Definitely wasn’t expecting an apology today of all things. 

“it’s ok kid, can’t honestly say i wouldn’t have done the same thing in yer shoes.” He shrugs. “anyways, i promised some questions, so let ‘er rip kid.”

They perk up a bit at that and he feels something warm and fuzzy in his soul that he quickly stamps down. The bit about answering questions seemed to have opened the floodgates though.

“These bandages are cool! How do they do the thing that makes me stop hurting?”

“it’s just a little bit of green magic, they’re meant for healing.”

“If it’s green magic, then why aren’t they green?”

“i dunno actually. more natural maybe?”

“It would make them kinda hard to tell them apart from regular ones at first glance, maybe they _should_ make them a different color...”

“maybe.”

“Why are your eyes red?”

“i dunno, that’s just how they’ve always been.”

Their face scrunches up slightly. “Are all the answers going to be that you don’t know the answer?”

Sans snorts at that one. “yer askin’ some really tough questions kid. as for yer last one, my best guess would be that my parents or some relative had red eyes like me and that’s where i got it from, how’s that?”

“Much better!” They say excitedly. “Where are you from?”

“snowdin, the little town you and yer friend have been visiting. come to think of it, we should probably head over there pretty soon.”

Their grin turns a bit nervous again. “Why?”

“‘cause my bro’s probably already ran into yer friend and hopefully they’ve talked it out by now.” Sans says offhandedly.

They look significantly less confident.“I don’t know, he was pretty mad.”

Sans’ eyes immediately flicker back to the bandages on their leg. Yeah, he can definitely see why they’d be pissed.

“then i guess that we’d better go make sure they’re getting along. c’mon, i’ll help ya out so ya won’t have to put even a little weight on that leg and everything.” 

After a few moments of contemplation, they hesitantly agree. A little bit of blue magic to manipulate their gravity leaves them weightless and easy to move without jostling their injury and with that handled, Sans sets out back the way he came (the kid bombarding him with questions every so often) eventually appearing back at the tree line behind the bar. Seeing the other kid safely trapped inside the cage, he approaches his brother, feeling a grin spread over his face as he spied the annoyed scowl gracing his brother’s features. “‘ey boss, look who followed me home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...
> 
> Can you tell I’m still slightly bitter about being one of the shortest in my friend group when we made our tree fort as kids?


	8. Rendezvous

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about how long this took :( Life got in the way and I lost a lot of the motivation I had to continue this fic for a while, glad to have finally finished this chapter :D

When he takes the time to observe the area, Sans notes the large trenches of melted snow and trampled areas of footprints leading from the bar, painting a pretty clear picture of how well Papyrus’ ‘diplomacy’ went over. He crossed the distance to where Papyrus stood, now able to get a clearer look at how his brother had fared while he was away. Yep, judging by the marks on Papyrus’ armor, this whole thing definitely ended in a fight. At the very least it didn’t look like he lost though.

“so. how’d the whole stealth thing work out for ya boss?” Sans asks with as much sarcasm as he can muster. Papyrus merely crosses his arms, his eyes narrowing slightly.

“seriously, nothing? i was expecting at least a sigh or an eye roll or something. what? cat got yer tongue boss?” Sans continues, trying hard to suppress laughter.

“Yes, Yes. Laugh It Up Sans, But While-“ Papyrus was cut off by a high pitched whining and looking just behind him in the cage, Sans could see a trio of little skulls the kid had summoned shooting at the joints of the structure before tackling the panel. He had to give the kid an A for effort at least, they looked _dead_ tired.

“wow, ya weren’t _kid-ding_ about the lasers, huh?.”

“Of Course Not, Why Would I-“ Papyrus is cut off once again, but this time by his own doing as the pun finally registers. There’s the eye roll he was looking for.

“Can You Quit Ki-Joking Around For Two Seconds Sans?” Papyrus growls.

“i can make a concerted effort.”

“...don’t hurt yourself... three syllable word Sans...” Came the unexpected voice to Sans’ right. He turned to see a rather angry-looking blue elemental a good distance away from where the battle took place, surrounded by a cage of bones.

“y-ya in time out there grillbz?” Sans manages, nearly choking on his suppressed laughter.

“HELLO MISTER GRILLBY!” The kid shouts, waving at the elemental merrily.

“..............hello... good to see you again...” Grillby says finally, managing a small wave back.

“awww.” Sans coos sarcastically, to which Grillby responds by flipping him off.

“What’s that? Is it a secret sign for friendship?” They ask excitedly.

———-

Papyrus sighs as he watches Sans lose his shit, completely doubled over as he howls with laughter. With a brief look at the child still in the trap he strides over to his brother, encountering no resistance as he rifles through Sans’ jacket pockets in search of the dampener he still had with him. He grumbled at the alarming amount of trash Sans had managed to collect since the last time Papyrus convinced him to allow it to be cleaned (read: threatened to throw both him _and_ the jacket in the washing machine if he continued refusing to take it off.)

Finally finding his prize, Papyrus left his brother to his stupidity, walking back over to the trap and carefully shoving the dampener through one of the gaps in the wire where it clatters to the ground. 

“Put That On And You Can Come Out.” 

He nearly scoffs at the suspicious glare they send his way. “If You Stay In There I Have To Carry That Contraption Around, This Way Is Easier For The Both Of Us.” He elaborates and it’s not a complete lie, another failing of that abominable hunk of garbage is how cumbersome it is to transport.

There is a long moment where their suspicion remains strong, but a look to the other child still suspended in the air many feet away seems to make the decision for them and they reluctantly pick up the dampener.

As soon as Papyrus confirms it’s on securely, he unlatches the mechanism holding the trap closed and steps back, allowing the panel nearest him to fall to the ground. There’s a brief hesitation before the small skeleton scrambles out of the trap, immediately running to their companion.

Sans seems to be done with his laughing fit, finally pulling himself together enough to be coherent. Papyrus dispels the bone cage around Grillby, releasing him from his rickety prison. <strike>Served him right for trying a sneak attack on the Lieutenant of the Royal Guard</strike> He doesn’t even look at Grillby as he gives Sans the go-ahead to start talking.

“alright first off,” Sans starts looking between the two children, “nobody here is in trouble. we just-”

“-you’re in trouble...” Grillby grumbles.

“what?”

“...trespassing behind my bar...”

“are ya actually serious right now?" 

“...anyone else would have...kicked your skeletal ass...”

“hey, watch yer fuckin’ language there’s kids here.”

“...pay your tab Sans...”

“nope.”

“Oh My God.” Papyrus pinched the bridge of his nose, a pained look on his face. Why did he ever think this would work out? “As He Said, No One Is In Trouble. We Simply Wish To Know Why Two Children That Somehow Nobody Knows Are Running Around Murder Woods All Alone.”

“we’re not alone.” The smaller snaps.

“Another Child Does Not Count.”

They bristle at that, the fire returning to their eyes. “well why not?” They ask, ignoring the horrified look from the other child.

“Because Children Need Someone To Look After Them Who Can Take Care Of Them.”

“that’s stupid, we can take care of ourselves just fine!”

“Oh Yes, And It Seems Like You Have Been Doing _Such_ An Excellent Job Thus Far.” 

The child’s sockets became that soulless blank as he glares at Papyrus, unblinking. “better than hanging around with some murderer, waiting for them to get bored enough to up their kill-count to twenty-five.”

——

A chill settled over the group at that statement. Sans was frozen in place, his eyelights nearly guttered out in shock, a quick glance to Papyrus showed a similar reaction. 

_How the hell did the little brat know that!?!_

Papyrus had exactly 23 kills to his name, the earliest of which were from when the two of them were young and weak, easily preyed upon by older monsters looking for EXP. When he joined the Guard, Papyrus had taken more lives in the pursuit of defending himself and his fellow Guardsmen. He knew that Papyrus kept a careful count of how many he had slain <strike>so he knew how many stolen lives he had to atone for</strike> so he could accurately report to the Captain after missions.

Normal monsters couldn’t read LV, let alone see a specific monster’s kill-count. Even Sans who prided himself on his ability to accurately assess someone’s Level Of ViolencE wouldn’t be able to exactly guess the number of people that a stranger had killed based on LV alone, mostly due to the fact that monsters give out different amounts of EXP upon their deaths depending on type and power.

A wicked grin stretched Sans’ face as he glared at the kid. “well, looks like someone doesn’t know how to greet a new pal. and he likes dragging other people’s _skeletons outta the closet._ let’s see how you like it.” And a moment later he was CHECKing both of them in quick succession, making sure they were as in-depth as possible.

***83836982736983-50 **

***ATK 10**

***DEF 10**

** <strike>*HP 225/320</strike> **

** <strike>*LV 1</strike> **

***He likes to say Nyeh heh heh!**

***He is hurt by words. And also the gaping hole in his leg.**

***Isn’t sure what to think about you**

***Very protective of his brother**

** <strike>*He doesn’t want to go back.</strike> **

***83836982736983-49**

***ATK 1**

***DEF 1**

** <strike>*HP 1/1</strike> **

** <strike>*LV 0</strike> **

***The easiest enemy. Can only deal 1 damage.**

***You will be judged**

***Doesn’t trust any of you**

***Very protective of his brother**

** <strike>*He won’t let you send them back</strike>  
**

That raised waaaay more questions than it actually answered, but the glare he got from the kid was a pretty good consolation prize. “damn, those’re some weird-ass stats kid. ‘s not so fun when someone’s poking around yer shit is it?”

“anyways, like i was saying earlier we just wanna know how the two of ya got here and how we can getcha home. no one’s gonna get in trouble, we just wanna figure out what happened.”

The two skeletons looked to each other, expressions shifting between nervousness and confusion before the taller speaks up again.

“Promise you won’t send us back?”

He really did hate making promises when he couldn’t guarantee being able to keep them, but the kid had left a nice little loophole there. After all, if Papyrus or the Captain made them go _he_ wasn’t sending them back.

“yeah kiddo, swear on my soul.” He said, crossing a finger over his sternum and pointedly ignoring the look of shock his brother was surely sending his way, instead focusing on the kids’ reactions.

The little one’s eyes immediately narrow in suspicion as the taller one’s expression shifts to tentative hope. When they look to each other to confer, the smaller shakes their head wildly, the taller responding with frustrated hand gestures, pointing at Sans and the other occupants of the room.

Wait. Not gestures...

Well shit, these two have officially gone _way_ past being full of surprises, all the way to being made of them, down to the last little signing phalange. What kind of little kids become fluent in a dead (heh) language after all? He was self-taught and pretty rusty on the specifics, but he was able to pick up a few words as the two signed.

The smaller one says uh... something something want? No, don’t want. A gesture towards Sans. The next one was... thank you? No, ‘tell’! And then the letter G and... something. It’s definitely familiar, one of the basics, a color maybe? Or an adjective? It’s probably a name based on how the kid used it, so it might be meaningless without some context. 

And then the other one starts. Something about ‘nice’ and ‘friends’ and- oh this kid is too precious for this world. Looks like their brother isn’t having it though.

The smaller is signing faster this time, it’s a real pain in the ass trying to keep up. That first one was totally them calling him a liar though. A gesture to Papyrus and something about LOVE- not the happy kind- and then more about G-Something.

For a little while it’s just a bunch of ‘yes’ and ‘no’ back and forth, looks like despite everything, they still bicker like little kids at least. From there on it’s mostly unrecognizable to him, but they only go back and forth for a few more moments before ending their silent conversation.

“I... I don’t think I can tell you.” They say finally, glancing back at their brother before looking to him sadly. Well at least he got some information out of that, even if it wasn’t quite what he’d wanted.

Sans shrugs, “that’s cool, let’s talk about something else then.” He redirects quickly. “how long were you guys out there? you had some pretty good traps to keep all the bad monsters in the forest away, i bet you ran into a couple.”

“Yes! We met someone when we first went into the forest and they weren’t very nice.” They say brightly. “We only saw you in the forest, so we thought you were some of the monsters who live there. As far as how long we’ve been there...” They tap a finger to their chin. “I don’t know. A long time I guess, but not a really, _really_ long time.” They say unhelpfully. And he doubted he was going to be able to get better information out of the other one.

“okay, next question. do the two of ya have names? yer checks just showed a bunch of numbers where yer names normally would be.”

“But those are our names??” They reply, voice tinged with confusion.

“so yer name is 838369-uh...” Sans starts, faltering as he tries to remember the long string of numbers.

“-82736983-50!” They finish happily, a grin spreading across their face as they explain. “But usually it’s just shortened to 50, my brother mostly just goes by 49.” <strike>50?</strike> The kid says, nudging said brother with an elbow.

Nope, don’t like that one bit. Kids being scared of going home was one thing, he honestly saw it a bit too much with how dysfunctional half the families here were. But actually naming your kids after a long string of numbers? That was a very different kind of weird he hadn't seen before and usually 'different' meant 'new and more creative ways to make life awful.' Ugh, this conversation was supposed to _answer_ questions, not give him more. He needs a break.

“how ‘bout we finish this conversation inside, i know the cold probably _goes right through ya,_ but ya’ll probably feel better once yer warm and yer leg’s all fixed up.” Sans shot Grillby a meaningful look at that. It was sort of an open secret that the elemental was one of the most skilled healers in town. Well, not so much an open secret as much as Sans had just so happened to find out and was really not supposed to bring it up or mention it to anyone.

With the quiet crackle that was Grillby grumbling under his breath leading the way, their odd company made its’ way back towards the bar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: In order to figure out if the cage actually worked, Sans had to play guinea pig teleporting in/out of the cage as Papyrus did some fine-tuning.


	9. Dustoff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow uh, this one ended up being a lot longer than I originally intended. Please let me know if you notice any mistakes!

Sans wasn’t surprised to find that Grillby’s was pleasantly warm inside even with closing hours long since passed. Having been lead in through the back entrance, they were standing in the middle of a dimly-lit kitchen, Grillby himself being just about the brightest light source. To Sans’ left was all the equipment for the kitchen along with a trapdoor that lead to Grillby’s _totally legal_ basement where he made/stored his _extremely legal_ booze. To his right was a significantly more benign staircase leading up towards the second floor where Grillby lived just above the restaurant.

Grillby waves them upstairs, leading them into a surprisingly cozy-looking living room, complete with a fuzzy blue rug partway beneath the couch and coffee table. The elemental gives a brief nod towards the couch before hurrying off, likely to grab a first-aid kit in case it was needed. 

Taking that as his cue, Sans gently lays the still-hovering kid on the sofa, letting out a quiets sigh of relief as he's finally able to release the blue magic's grip on their SOUL. He rolls his shoulder, trying to dislodge the discomfort that'd settled there; using blue magic for so long always left his control arm achy. The other kid follows immediately, apparently determined to remain within arms-length of their sibling in this unknown environment and he can't really blame them after today's insanity. 

Soon enough Grillby's back, shooting Sans a look that told him very clearly to back off, so he chose a spot against the wall to lean against and give the group some space. He flipped open his phone and brought up the messages under his brother's contact information. 

Papyrus had decided to stay downstairs in the kitchen instead of following the rest of their motley crew upstairs, probably hoping that him not being around would help 49 chill out. A good idea in theory, but there was a problem in that Papyrus absolutely _hated_ doing nothing. If Sans wasn't texting him a play-by-play of what was going on, he'd probably resort to editing the guard schedule for the third time that day or rearranging all the pans in Grillby's kitchen by some sort of arbitrary system. Really, he was doing the elemental a favor.

Sans was dragged from his musings by a loud snapping sound. He looked up to see a very unhappy-looking Grillby about halfway through unwrapping the bandages he'd placed around the kid's leg. When Sans got a peek at the wound, he could see the bandages had done some good, but not nearly enough to disguise just how bad the original injury probably was. The lighter cut on their shoulder looks almost fully healed though, the bandages having done a much better job on the lighter injury. Still, they were probably getting an earful about that later.

The flames that made up Grillby's hand shifted to a bright emerald green as they hovered over the injury and sure enough, the kid's HP was on the uptick as the gash slowly closed itself.

"Ooh! So pretty!" Sans barely managed to hold back a laugh at Grillby's reaction, his concentration almost breaking at the kid's exclamation.

Green magic was a funny thing. Like all types of colored magic, it was highly influenced by a monster's emotions or intent and it was very difficult to become proficient without a natural aptitude for it. It was also the only type that could be used effectively without any sort training under the right circumstances. Empathy was the key to this kind of magic, those who grew attached to others easily were more naturally inclined toward healing magic and easily able to help others. 

For monsters without talent, magic power and the emotional connection to the one being healed were the limiting factors, as less powerful individuals were limited in their healing no matter what they did, but positive emotional attachments made it quicker and more effective. Like how even a proficient healer would have difficulty patching up someone they hated and a completely untrained monster seeing a loved one on the verge of death could sometimes pull them back from the brink.

It took around ten minutes for Grillby to seal up the wound completely without so much as a scar left behind. 

"...feels fine...?"

50 nods enthusiastically, their legs swinging happily as they revel in their renewed mobility. "Yes! Thank you Mister Grillby!"

"...one moment..." Grillby is off to what appears to be a linen closet, grabbing out an extremely fluffy blanket and draping it over the pair on the couch. 50 looks, if possible, even more excited than before as they cuddle into the plush material while 49 struggles not to be lost in the mountain of fabric.

"...will be back shortly..." He says, gesturing for Sans to follow him.

\-------

It had been approximately four and a half minutes since Sans' last update, which meant that either Grillby had finished healing, or Sans had gotten bored of sending the words _sill healing_ over and over again. Papyrus starts slightly as he finally hears footsteps descending the stairs.

The first one down is the elemental, who doesn't even spare him a glance as he heads further into the kitchen, pulling down a pot and ingredients from high cupboards. Sans follows a moment later, seeming nonplussed by the flame's near-furious cooking. Papyrus shoots him a questioning look but, in true Sans fashion, he receives only a halfhearted shrug in response. Truly, he could not have asked for a more helpful answer. 

A moment later there is a small _fwoosh_ as the stove lights and a clanking of pots and utensils. Looking back, the blue flame was studiously ignoring both skeletons in favor of focusing on his task, what looked like milk or cream along with an array of spices spread out on the table beside him. Reaching up, Grillby opens a cabinet, only to stop short staring at the contents. "...did you... rearrange my mugs...?"

"No."

He had. 

"ya so did."

Damnit Sans.

There is a sigh from the elemental as he finally turns to the both of them.

"...need to discuss... where they are going to end up..." Grillby starts, his tone serious.

“Since This Is Now Official Guard Business It’s Probably Best If They Stay With Us.”

“...was planning on looking after them anyways...Sans comes by regularly...could just stay with me...” That last part of the elemental's speech almost sounded hopeful, but Papyrus shook his head.

“As Much As I Think That May Actually Be The Right Choice In This Case, The Law Says They Are To Be Considered A Ward Of The Crown Until Their Caretakers Come Forward, Which Means That The Captain Will Have To Make An Assessment Before They Can Be Placed Outside The Guard’s Care.”

“...stickler...”

“If That Is What It Takes.” Papyrus replies cooly, his arms crossing as he stares down the elemental.

Grillby is definitely not satisfied by that answer, his flames crackling in annoyance as he glares at Papyrus.

\-----

Oof, time to take over as mediator.

“look grillbz, i’ll bring ‘em by the bar once things’ve settled a bit, just so ya can see they're doing fine alright?” Sans interjects, hoping to appease the elemental's growing anger.

“...two days...don’t see them by then...cutting you off permanently...” Grillby threatens and Sans knows from experience that he's not afraid to do it too.

“damn, playin’ hardball there grillbz. i accept yer terms, just don’t shank me or whatever.” He grins cheekily.

Grillby grumbles a bit, but eventually relents, grabbing two mugs down from his newly-arranged cabinets and filling them with hot chocolate off the stove before retreating back upstairs to the kids. It was pretty even odds whether he was going to let them know what's going on or trying to do a sort of final checkup before they left. Probably both now that he thought about it.

He sighed internally. 49 was definitely gonna have a problem with this plan. 50'd probably be ok with just about anything, but that kid was a real ball of sunshine if he'd ever seen one (not that he had). Ugh. It still felt so awkward every time he referred to them with a number as a opposed to something that felt like a real name. There was definitely something not right about that and he'd met a lot of oddly-named monsters. <strike> He was certain he hadn't met a Froggit so far that hadn't just referred to itself as 'Froggit'. The King apparently wasn't the only one who was shit at names.</strike>

“seriously, we’ve gotta figure out nicknames for those kids or something.” He remarks idly.

“Could You Stop Daydreaming For A Moment? We Have Actual Problems To Handle Right Now.” Papyrus snaps, glaring down at Sans impatiently.

“like what?”

“Like Where Will They Sleep? We Don’t Exactly Have A Guest Room Sans. And Don’t You Dare Say The Shed.” Papyrus growls, jabbing a finger at him warningly.

“they can just stay in my room, it’s not like i haven’t slept on the couch before.”

Papyrus looks at him with a mix of appall and disgust. “That Room Is Barely Fit For _You_ To Inhabit, There Is No Chance That They Will Be Staying There! My Room Would Be A Much Better Choice.”

“and ya think ya’ll fit on our tiny-ass couch? nah, if it bothers ya that much we can clean my room so it’s not so bad.”

Papyrus narrows his eyes at him suspiciously. “Do Not Think That Your Admittedly Compelling Argument Has Distracted Me From The Fact That You Just Don’t Want To Have To Clean That Room Yourself.”

“guilty as charged.” He smirks.

Papyrus sighs exasperatedly. “It Would Take Literal Hours To Get Your Room Fit For Habitation And I Barely Even Sleep, Unlike Some People With Their Eight Hour Long Naps. They Can Simply Use My Room Until We Figure Out A More Efficient Living Situation Or Their Stay With Us Is Over.”

He wasn't really wrong. 

Sans gives his brother a long look before shrugging. “yer the boss, boss.” 

"Either Way," Papyrus deadpans. "It Would Likely Be In Our Best Interests If You Took Point In Child-Wrangling. I Didn't Exactly Leave A Good First Impression On 49, And You Have A Decent Rapport With 50."

Sans raised a brow at that. "yer leaving _me_ in charge o' little kids? 'm not exactly the most kid friendly choice here."

PG Sans was not. Honestly he was surprised Papyrus turned out as okay as he did, but he wasn't banking on lightning striking twice.

"I Am Well Aware Of That Sans, But Right Now We Don't Exactly Have Many Choices. As I Said This Will Only Be Temporary, But For Now I Will Be Leaving You In Charge Of Them." Papyrus says sternly, leaving no room for argument. Well shit.

Sans sighed, his shoulders sagging in defeat as he looked up at his brother/boss. "reckon that means i'd better go start wrangling, huh? well _hoss_, wish me luck." Sans was pleasantly surprised to hear a very annoyed groan as he began climbing the stairs. Even he had to admit that one was a stretch, he was glad his brother got it.

One staircase later he was retracing his steps through to the elemental's living room, only to be met with an unexpected sight.

49 was out like a light, leaning fully on 50 as they snoozed on. Looks like all that magic usage finally caught up to them, Sans thought offhandedly, taking note of the untouched mug sitting on the nearby coffee table. 50 on the other hand was sitting mug in hand chatting with Grillby, apparently unbothered by the current situation.

"-just sort of fell in on itself, so in the end we had to find a balance between it looking super cool and letting snow slide off."

"...sounds difficult..."

"It was actually pretty easy, there were lots of things around to use to help get the angle right." That was about when the kid noticed his reappearance, grinning widely.

"Hello again! Did you also want to hear about the coolest roof ever constructed?" They ask merrily.

"not exactly. turns out, you 'n yer bro are gonna be crashin' at our place for a bit."

Their brow furrows in confusion. "We're crashing there? Why are we breaking your house?"

Sans chuckled at that. "nah, 's a figure of speech kiddo. just means yer gonna be livin' with me and boss until we can figure out a better place for ya."

"Oh yes, Mr. Grillby told me about that! But we get to visit him in a day or two right?" 

"yep, that's the plan." Sans affirms, giving Grillby a sidelong glance as he does so. "what's that ya got there?" He asks, indicating the cup in their hands.

"Mr. Grillby says it's called hot chocolate and it's super sweet and good!" 50 chirps excitedly and a thought occurred to him.

Grillbz gave this kid _goddamn sugar_ at like, ten o'clock at night. From the little time he'd known them, 50 seemed hyper enough without the extra energy, no way they're going to sleep anytime soon. At least it wasn't coffee, kid would be absolutely bouncing off the walls. Welp, goodbye sleep. He was gonna be up half the night answering questions and entertaining this kid 'till they finally crashed, since that was apparently his job now. Maybe since this was Boss's idea he could convince him to let Sans skive off morning patrol.

"sounds pretty good kiddo, just one more thing though. it's a bit of a long walk ta our house and ya just got warmed up, so i think we'd be better off taking a shortcut. the uh, teleporting thing yer bro can do." He added at their confused look. The fact that random monsters around town wouldn't be gawking at the pair and maybe tipping off the wrong people to where they were was just one more benefit to the more discreet method of transportation.

"That's right, you can do that too!" They shout,as if only just now realizing. "How does that work? Because my brother tried to explain it to me, but he wasn't really sure how he started doing it either and it didn't make sense." 

It was a helluva question, one that even Sans didn't know the full answer to. It was also not something he cared to go into details about with an info-brokering elemental just feet away. Much as he liked the guy, Grillbz was a strictly neutral individual that would just as easily sell information about him as to him. No point risking someone else figuring out his own signature magic and causing havoc.

"that's a doozy of a question kiddo, how 'bout you try runnin' that one by me again a bit later? explanation's easier with visuals anyway."

50 seemed to deflate slightly and Sans' feels a traitorous pang of sadness at the near-frown taking the place of 50's normal grin. Fuck.

"so uh, i interrupted a story about a pretty awesome roof right?" He asked quickly.

Their expression shifts back almost immediately. "Mhm! It was only the most useful and well decorated of roofs!"

"well i'm sure grillby here would love to hear how the story ends, then we can grab boss downstairs and head out." He suggests, surprising himself with how genuine the smile on his face feels at their renewed enthusiasm.

"You're right; I can't believe I almost forgot!"

And just like that, they'd spent almost another half hour learning the pros and cons of pinecones' decorative qualities. But Sans couldn't bring himself to be annoyed, after all it <strike> seemed to make 50 pretty happy</strike> let 50 burn off some of that excess energy before they had to go to sleep anyway.

"-and that's how I figured out that pinecone wreaths work better when you have more stuff to string them up with." Well that was enlightening, 50 was definitely an arts 'n crafts kid.

After a few seconds, their expression turns reluctant. "Does that mean we have to leave now?" They ask with a sidelong look towards Grillby.

"'fraid so kid, but yer gonna see Grillbz again soon."

"Alright..."

"ya wanna wake 'im up before we head out?" He said, gesturing to 49 who was still conked out despite all the noise.

"No it's fine, he does this sometimes. I've got him." 50 assures him, easily lifting their brother's limp form to carry bridal-style. 

'Does this sometimes'? Sans gave the kids a quick once over, not quite understanding what 50 meant. Grillby, literally the only expert on healing he knew didn't seem agitated, so it probably wasn't an immediate problem at least? Definitely filing it away for later, though.

"...sure you don't need help...?"

"No, it's ok, thank you very much Mr. Grillby."

"...I'll walk you all out..." Grillbz says, getting up from his seat on the couch.

Him, Grillby, and 50 made their way downstairs, greeted by the sound of papers being hastily shoved out of sight. Sans finally made it to the landing, a cheeky grin already on his face as he looked towards his brother. That was a very impatient look Papyrus was giving him. He obviously did not appreciate how long Sans had taken getting the kids upstairs, but he wasn't about to snap at him for being slow while 50 was there and carrying a sleeping 49.

"headin' out boss." Sans said simply, but since he wasn't walking towards the door Papyrus knew what he meant, falling into step opposite 50. "see ya later grillbz." He shoots over his shoulder before taking a step forward into darkness, dragging the group through a shortcut. A brief moment of nothingness later, they're standing in the middle of Sans and Papyrus' living room.

"home sweet home."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: Sans is not much of a healer; no natural talent to speak of, but enough magic and positive feelings towards his brother to heal him in a pinch, something that's come up more often than either of them would like. Papyrus has sort of the opposite problem; he has a decent amount of natural skill, but is held back by his need to maintain his image and push away others that might get too close.


	10. DFAC 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy crap, this chapter has been rough. I think I deleted and rewrote it at least 5 times, but it's finally done!

Sans groaned into their dining room table, head pillowed under his arms as he tried to stave off drowsiness.

Last night had started out fine, just putting 49 to bed properly in Papyrus' room. But then 50 had asked him to explain teleporting and that had taken a good hour and a half with all the questions they had about different concepts. It was an interesting talk, don't get him wrong about that, but if he knew anything about kids it was that despite any protests they had, they really did need their sleep. Even Papyrus had slept a couple hours a night when he was a kid, but when he'd brought up sleep to 50...

"That staying-still-and-not-moving-for-a-long-time thing my brother does? Why would I want to do that? It sounds boring."

So, yeah. At least that explained what 50'd said before; 49 didn't do anything weird, they just fell asleep _at all_. Unfortunately for Sans, he was kinda attached to his beauty sleep, so while it had seemed easy to keep up with 50 back then with all the questions and activities, he was really feeling the effects of his all-nighter now. 

So now not only was he conscious at a normally Papyrus-only hour, but he also hadn't managed to get any useful information about where the kids were from. 50 had obviously taken whatever their brother said to heart (heh) and had a habit of rather blatantly changing the subject whenever Sans brought it up. Eventually he just stopped pushing, hoping the kid would mention something useful accidentally, but nope, nada, zippo. He let out another loud groan, this one born more of frustration than tiredness.

"I Take It That Things Didn't Exactly Go To Plan?" Papyrus remarks, voice full of snark. 

Heh, that whole I-told-you-so thing was usually his bit, but Sans was willing to forgive his wayward brother since he so graciously handed over a rather large mug of coffee. Praise be whatever godly entity invented caffeine.

"kid's like the freakin' rabbit from those human commercials, jus' keeps goin' and goin' and goin'..." Sans remarks drowsily, his hand making a sort of circular motion to demonstrate his point.

There's a light sound of feet from upstairs and 50's face suddenly appears at the top of the bannister. "Sans! I found something really cool, you _have_ to come see it!" And then they're gone again, footsteps leading back to Papyrus' room.

Sans couldn't help but laugh at that. "once more into the fray." He chuckles before chugging down the rest of his coffee and getting up to meet 50 upstairs.

\-------

Sans was faring better with the lack of sleep than Papyrus had expected. He had only refilled his mug twice since Papyrus started cooking breakfast and once more right after sitting down at the table. Considering he normally went through the whole pot just for morning detail, this was either a sign of improvement, or an omen of what was to come. 50 seemed chipper at least, chattering excitedly as they munched on toast.

On a more concerning note, 49 had not accompanied them downstairs, apparently still resting after the events of the previous night. While he certainly couldn't blame them considering how exhausted they'd seemed, he also couldn't help but feel increasingly anxious as the minutes dragged on with no change. 

Something that went unnoticed by his sleep-deprived brother who had just face planted into the table. 

It seemed to take 50 a moment to notice that Sans was no longer with them, stopping rather abruptly at the realization. "Guess he's doing the not-moving thing now too." They shrug, apparently completely unbothered that their audience had fallen unconscious in the middle of their conversation. They quickly glance up at Papyrus who was currently sitting at the furthest spot away from them at the table before deliberately breaking eye-contact.

That was about what he had expected, they obviously didn't want to be around him, but he couldn't exactly leave them unsupervised. Papyrus feels a rush of nervousness as the silence drags on and quickly nudges Sans under the table, but his hopes to wake him prematurely are dashed as Sans merely lets out a grunting snore before slumbering on. 

Seconds pass, then a minute, the tension only getting worse as they both sat doing their best to avoid eye contact. What should he do? Should he do anything? Maybe trying to wake Sans up again would be the best option; he'd said so himself that the children would be uncomfortable around him, that was why he told Sans to handle this in the first place!

He's so lost in his increasingly frustrated thought process, he doesn't hear the creaking of floorboards until 50 speaks up.

"Brother, you're up!" They chirp, the suddenness making Papyrus jump. He turns to follow the younger skeleton's gaze, quickly noticing 49's face peeking over the upstairs railing, frozen in place when their approach was noticed. 

Oh goodie both of them were here, now 50 could continue to gloomily avoid eye-contact while 49 glared and made snide comments. Truly the best way this day could have started out. He was kidding of course, this was actually the worst scenario he could think of. 

Despite the amount of sleep they had gotten, 49 still looked tired and with how they had expended magic the day before, a proper meal would likely be the best remedy.

Papyrus clears his throat, drawing both pairs of eyes to him. "Good Morning. If You'd Like To Take A Seat I Will Be Right Back With Something For You To Eat." He says nodding towards the only remaining seat at the table, trying his best to sound both casual and non-threatening. 

The particularly unimpressed look they fixed him with gave a good idea of just how unsuccessful he'd been, but surprisingly they began making their way downstairs, the slight wobble in their steps the only thing that betrayed their continued exhaustion. 49 immediately grabs the chair Papyrus had indicated and drags it closer to their brother, causing a loud scraping sound that rattled uncomfortably around Papyrus' skull. They finally stop once theirs and 50's seat are side-by-side before scrambling up onto it with only minor difficulty. 

After glancing at his brother to confirm that no, all of that noise _still_ hadn't woken him up; Papyrus retreats to the kitchen where several slices of toast and scrambled eggs are set aside from when he'd been cooking earlier. He takes a deep breath as soon as he's out of sight. At least with the two of them there he didn't have to try and figure some way to force a conversation, they would probably be more happy chatting with each other after all, he thought encouragingly.

As soon as he walks back into the room he can see the two of them speaking in hands again, rapidly signing back and forth in almost total silence. Papyrus blinked for a moment, he hadn't expected to be proven right so soon.

It really was too bad Sans had never taught him much more than a few signs, though even they hadn't stuck particularly well in his mind over the years. They stop almost as soon as they see him exit the kitchen, 49 resuming their staring as 50 seems to shrink into their seat.

He sighed mentally. Once more into the fray indeed, Sans.

Pretending not to notice their reactions, Papyrus walks to their side of the table and sets the plate in front of 49 before returning to his seat; the smaller skeleton giving the plate only a quick glance before reaffixing him in their gaze.

He waited a moment. 

Then two.

...

Ah, it would appear his old friend awkward silence had returned. 

And 49 still hadn't touched their food at all- hell, he was pretty sure they hadn't even _blinked_ since they came downstairs.

This wasn’t working, approaching these two like wild animals that would bite him for saying something wrong <strike>though that certainly was something he would have tried in their situation.</strike> He had to flip his perspective, try a different method of communication and find a way to quash this ridiculous nervousness of his! He'd done dozens of negotiations during his time in the guard from gangsters to Capital underlings, there was no real reason for this to be any different, he just needed the right mindset. 

"I Assume You Have Questions." He says finally and 49 immediately gives him the most annoyed 'well, obviously' look.

"How About This, I Will Agree To Answer Any Questions That You May Have If You Agree To Eat Something." Papyrus gestures to the plate in front of them.

“why, did you do something to it?” They shoot back immediately, eye sockets narrowing in suspicion.

“No, But I Certainly Understand The Concern.” And he really did. Poisoning had been a popular way to raise LV in the years when he was growing up and though it wasn't nearly so common now, many residents wouldn't accept food or drink from anyone other than family and trusted vendors.

"That Being Said, If Myself Or My Brother Had Wanted To Hurt You, We Had Many Opportunities To Do So Before Now. I Can Assure You That We Have No Intention To Hurt Either Of You." It was only after he said that that he realized how much that sounded like a threat, but 49 responded before he could backtrack.

“fine... but i wanna ask my questions first.” They insist and Papyrus nods, making a small gesture for them to go on.

"what's gonna happen now?" 

"What Do You Mean?"

"you guys have us here and judging by this," They wave their arm with the dampener still attached with a small jangling noise "we're not gonna be allowed to leave anytime soon. so whats that mean for us?"

Papyrus tilted his head in thought. There were a lot of ways that he could answer that question, ranging from being helpful but downright lying, to much less helpful but substantially more honest. He certainly knew which he would have preferred in their place.

"The Short Version Is That You Will Be Staying Here Temporarily While We Conduct Our Investigation On Your Previous Living Situation, After All I Somehow Doubt That You've Been Living Just Outside Of Town Your Whole Lives Without Anyone Noticing Until Now.” He adds at the end and he could swear he saw 49’s face twitch.

"In Regards To What Sans Promised You Before," Papyrus says looking at 50. "Based On What We Know So Far, There Is Very Little Chance That Either Of You Will Be Made To Go Back To Your Previous Living Arrangements." Papyrus would certainly be against it, which meant something in the Guard's books at least.

The pair of them looked relieved at that statement. "and that leaves us stuck here with you two?" 49 says now glaring at Papyrus once more who sighs before continuing.

"This Is Not A Prison," <strike>Sans would appreciate the irony there.</strike> "There Are Limits Obviously, But We Will At Least Try To Honor Any Requests That You Make."

49 narrows his eye sockets at him. "does that include living somewhere else?"

“Yes, But Like I Said There Are Limits.”

They look thoughtful for a moment. "what about grillby?"

Papyrus nods. “If That's What You Would Like, Then So Long As He Does The Necessary Paperwork And Gets Approval, It Should Be Possible. It Will Likely Take Time Though.”

“how much time?”

Now there was a question. How long does it take for two bureaucrats to screw in a lightbulb? "It Depends, Anywhere From A Few Days To A Few Weeks."

He watched the pair process that information, sneakily signing words in the other's direction as they silently conferred. Papyrus wasn't even trying to follow their conversation at this point, their movements too fast and his vocabulary too limited.

"Is There Anything Else You Want To Know?" He asked once it looked like they were finished, looking to both of them. 49 stays silent, apparently satisfied with his answers for now. 50 raises their hand and waits as if they're in a classroom.

"Yes?"

"I have some questions." They say timidly, lowering their hand now they'd been called on.

"Feel Free To Ask Them Then." Papyrus says nodding an affirmation.

50 immediately perks up, their gloomy expression changing to something more akin to their earlier happiness. 

"What's your favorite color?"

Oh dear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for taking the time to read, criticism is always appreciated!


	11. DFAC 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finished this chapter while eating butterscotch pie and listening to the live Undertale concert on Youtube, can't do much better than that XD Happy fifth birthday Undertale!

Sans' mind is still fuzzy and disoriented when he finally drags himself back into consciousness, but he notices a few things off the bat. 

One, he'd fallen asleep leaning over a table, which meant he could count on his back being sore later, ugh. Two, his face was laying on something soggy and squishy, so he'd have to pretty thoroughly wash his face before heading to work, double ugh. And three, there was somebody talking right next to him while he was trying to sleep, probably the reason he'd woken up in the first place. He groaned out loud, couldn't they have their chat somewhere else?

"Sans? Are You Awake?" That was definitely Papyrus talking that time and Sans almost let out another groan. Looked like that was the end of his nap.

He finally lifted his head from his soggy pillow, blinking blearily at the place his brother's voice had come from.

"hey boss." He grumbles sleepily.

"You Fell Asleep Sans."

"mhmhmm." Sans hums in agreement, still weighing the pros and cons of just putting his head back down and sleeping once more.

"Don't Fall Back Asleep Sans, I'm Going To Get You More Coffee." Papyrus says and there's a sound of chair legs scraping the floor as he get to his feet. 

Hmm. Coffee was good, almost as good as sleep. And since he wasn't allowed to sleep, he would accept coffee as a close second.

"Hello Sans!" Someone pipes up next to him and it takes Sans' mind a few moments to process who the small skeleton in the chair next to his is.

"heya 50, howzit goin'?"

"Good! I got to ask Papyrus lots of questions!" They certainly seem ecstatic about it. At some point he'd have to ask them what that was about.

"oh yeah? he tell ya anything cool?"

"Yep! All kinds of things, right brother?" 50 says, nudging the even smaller skeleton next to them who was currently nibbling on a piece of toast. With how quiet they were being, Sans almost hadn't noticed 49 settled in a seat right next to his brother. 

Sans waved at them sleepily. "ey, look who's up."

"look who's talking." They shoot back without missing a beat and Sans chuckles. 

"touché. don't _rib_ me too much though, i already feel like a real _numbskull._" He says, blearily rubbing at an eye-socket. The half-amused-half-annoyed glance he gets from 50 is right on cue, they were already well aware of his overuse of skeleton puns. The little snort that 49 doesn't quite manage to stifle is more unexpected, something that his tired mind immediately hones in on. Well, well, well, it would seem they had a sense of humor. 

Sans would be the first to admit that he had a deep-seated habit of holding grudges, but it was really hard stay mad at someone who also seemed to like bad jokes. Not to mention the kid was what like, nine? That'd be pretty shitty of him, even by his standards. Might as well extend the olive branch now before he somehow found a way to miss his chance at a truce. 

Sans idly wonders how many puns it will take to get them, cracking his knuckles mentally as he looks around the table for inspiration.

"ya like jokes, kid? i think they're pretty _pun-derful_ myself. an _egg-cellent_ form of humor that always _cracks me up_." 49 remained stoic as they pretended to ignore him, but 50 had apparently realized what he was doing, grinning at him conspiratorially. Round two.

"_cool_ guys like me usually try ta use 'em as an _ice-breaker,_ but we didn't exactly get off on the right foot. Sorry 'bout me 'n my bro's _chilly_ reception, but it's _ice_ to properly meet ya." They suddenly turn away so Sans can't see their face, but 50 nods at him encouragingly, motioning for him to keep going. "aw, don't gimme the _cold shoulder_, i'm just getting _warmed up_." 

He's trying to think of something else to pun with when Papyrus walks back in the room, coffee in hand. Uh oh, it's the pun police. And he was so close too! 

Probably... Maybe...

Eh, it was fine, he punned better when he was more awake anyways. 

He takes the coffee from Papyrus with an exaggerated wink. "real _sweet_ of ya boss." Sans quips and Papyrus rolls his eyes as he goes to retake his seat.

"Yes Well, Please Don't Fall Asleep Into It, I Would Hate To Have To Explain To Undyne How We're Down A Sentry Because He Drowned In A Cup Of Coffee."

"yer right, better remove the risk." Sans practically turns the mug upside down, chugging the whole thing in record time. He sighs happily, already feeling the boost of magic in his system pushing away the fog in his mind.

"Is coffee even good?" 50 asks giving the mug a suspicious glance.

Sans shakes his head in a so-so manner. "if ya add stuff to it."

"Can i have some?" Sans can feel his mind stall out as he imagined the reign of terror they could enact on a single cup of coffee. 50 had been moving non-stop without any sleep on just hot chocolate, caffeine would make them absolutely unstoppable.

"I Really Would Advise Against That," Papyrus says, swooping in to save the day to Sans' relief. "It Will Stunt Your Growth. Just Look At Him." He says gesturing to Sans. 

Ouch. So much for saving the day, words hurt y'know?

"not true, i'm short 'cause ya stole all my height ya bast- uh..." Shit he can't say that around kids. What's something he could switch it out for? Dammit, he can practically _feel_ Papyrus holding in laughter as he continued to fumble with words. Sans really should have known there was no way he'd be able to keep up the self-censorship, swearing was like half his vocabulary and even Papyrus had given up trying to curb it years ago. Something about how he'd be foul-mouthed 'till the day he died.

It would seem 50 agreed with him. They give Sans a look full of pity, lightly patting his arm as if to comfort him.

"It's okay if you can't do it. I understand. Thank you for trying though!" Their tone is so sincere it makes him want to laugh madly and scream in frustration all at the same time.

Papyrus suddenly breaks out into a conveniently timed coughing fit that fooled absolutely no one as Sans forces the most genuine smile he can onto his face.

"thanks fer that, it's a tough habit ta break." He tries to sound as appreciative as possible. "really should keep trying though, can't be swearing so much around kids."

"I would appreciate that!" They say cheerily.

"maybe i could turn 'em all into puns, i'm good at those." He looks to Papyrus, eager to see his brother's affronted expression at the suggestion

"Sans, No."

"sans, yes." He grins evilly.

"Sans, no!" 50 chimes in unexpectedly, a big goofy grin plastered on their face that tells him they just wanted to be included.

He blinks a moment before chuckling out loud. "welp, guess i'm outvoted. unless you've got something to say about it, kiddo?" Sans looks to 49 who sits up suddenly, seeming honestly surprised at being addressed. They hesitate just a moment before shrugging.

"i'll vote for the puns i guess." It's said dismissively, but that answer is all the proof Sans needs to know they'd fit right in at pun club. Not that there was an actual club for puns, but hey, he could dream right?

"Brother, You're A Bad Influence." Papyrus declares, dragging Sans back to the present.

"ya mean a _rad_ influence." There's an implied finger-gun there that's hard _not_ to notice when you know Sans as well as his brother does.

Papyrus shakes his head in mock-shame. "I Don't Know Which Hurts More, The Pun Or The Fact That You Just Said The Word 'Rad' Unironically."

_Pking!_

Ugh, Sans knew that sound. That was the sound of his brother getting an important message from one of the other guards, which meant just like that all the fun was over.

"It's Doggo. He Needs The New Schedule So He Can Give It Out At Lineup Since We Won't Be There. I'll Need To Make Sure He Remembers That He's Changing Stations For The Next Few Days As Well."

Doggo was one of the only other sentries that manned a station out in the forest rather than patrol so Papyrus had decided to have him sub in for Sans until they got things more figured out. Shit, he'd have to text Doggo not to eat all the water sausages he had tucked away under the counter; that guy looked like a dog monster, but he could be a real pig when it came to food and Sans still needed to see if he could actually find a way to cook those.

Papyrus started to get up again and Sans suddenly remembered that he was _absolutely not_ allowed to go back upstairs to his room right now. Uhhh think fast, think fast!

"hey 50, why don't ya give yer bro the grand tour. i'll be up in a minute, gotta talk ta the boss fer a sec." Fuck, the look his brother just shot him said that was nowhere near subtle enough. At least 50 seemed excited, completely unsuspecting of Sans' potential doom.

"Alright! Come on, there's a lot of cool stuff upstairs!" Papyrus watches as 50 drags 49 back upstairs and Sans can practically see the gears turning in his head as he came to some sort of conclusion, waiting until the kids were out of sight before starting.

"That Reminds Me Sans, What Was It That 50 Wanted To Show You Earlier? You Didn't Mention It Before You Passed Out." 

_Shiiiit._ He got it in one.

"uh... nothin' big, just stuff." He lies quickly, trying to sound as natural as possible as he deflects the question.

"Really? No Ridiculous Card Towers Or Board Games Given Inventive Puzzle Rules?" He instantly regrets that he was sending pictures of all the coolest shit the kid put together. That card tower _was_ pretty bad ass though, Sans hadn't even known they had that many cards.

"nah, just figured out a new game to play is all." 

"Oh Really? Which One?" 

Goddamnit, Papyrus could smell one of his lies from a mile away and that crappy excuse was just more blood in the water. He quickly tried to come up with something.

"uh, chutes and ladders?" Frack, he didn't mean for that to be a question.

"I See... And Why Is It That You Are Lying To Me Sans?"

"dunno what yer talkin' 'bout, boss." He fibs easily, giving his most innocent smile.

**_"Sans."_ ** He cringed internally; Papyrus was onto him and no amount of sweet-talking would get him out of it. Might as well give up the ghost and prepare for the real blowup.

"kid mighta... rearranged yer filin' cabinet. the one with all the guard reports 'n stuff." He admitted grudgingly, not meeting Papyrus' gaze. 

Yeah, Papyrus didn't even let _Sans_ into that drawer; too much important stuff to risk anyone else messing with it and something getting lost. He had really hoped this wouldn't come up until he had a better story to spin. 

"What? How Did They Even-?"

"-i dunno! i walked in and all the shit was lying out and they were sayin' somethin' 'bout the papers being in the wrong order."

"That Was A Locked Cabinet-!"

_Brrrrrrriiiiiiiiing!_

Both brothers jumped at the sudden noise, Papyrus quickly fishing the phone out of his pocket to see who would even be calling this early in the morning.

"It's Undyne." He said aloud, dread visibly washing over him as he stared at the caller ID.

_Brrrrrrriiiiiiiiing!_

“ya were gonna have to update her eventually, might as well get it over with.” Sans says as the phone continues to ring.

“I Am Well Aware Of That, But You Know How She Can Be Sans And To Say That I Am Concerned About How The Children Will React To Her Is An Understatement.”

“ya mean how they’ll react to the loud, crazy fish lady tryna interrogate them about stuff they don’t wanna talk about? gee boss, no idea what could go wrong there.” He says sarcastically and Papyrus gives him a look. “but it’ll be way worse if she doesn’t have any clue what’s going on and just barges in guns blazing ‘cause ya didn’t answer yer damn phone.” 

He could see the moment Papyrus realized he was right, sighing as he went to meet his fate. The phone was nearing it's fifth ring when he finally picked up.

"WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG!?" Came the immediate screech from the receiver. It was a good thing Papyrus had the foresight to hold the device a good few inches away from his head. Only good thing about getting a call from ol' fish-face was that you never had to put the phone on speaker.

"Apologies Captain, I Was... Away From My Phone Momentarily." Sans smirked at the rather obvious lie, but kept quiet so Undyne wouldn't hear.

"Whatever, not the problem right now. I heard you and Sans were no-shows today at lineup, wanna explain that!?"

"Yes, You See The Situation That I Have Been Updating You On Has Finally Been Resolved. Myself And My Brother Have Been Trying To Settle Them In And Figure Out What Is Really Going On."

"Oh uh... Right! Yes! That... thing! Yeah um, I'm having a bit of a crazy day over here, run it by me again from the beginning, would ya?" 

Holy shit, she didn't read the reports did she? Oh man, Papyrus is gonna be _pissed._

His brother continues his explanation, having apparently not come to the same conclusion Sans had. "Of Course Captain. If You'll Recall, I Put In A Request Not Long Ago To Help Apprehend What We Had Assumed To Be A Single Skeleton Monster That Turned Ou-"

"-Wait, there’s other skeletons in Snowdin?"

"Yes, We Met Them And Confirmed The Children Are Skeletons, Bu-"

"WAIT KIDS?! I'M ON MY WAY NOW!"

“Captain-!“ There was a loud sound of wood splintering over the phone. 

"I’LL BE THERE IN TEN MINUTES TOPS NERD!"

“UNDYNE-!“ _Click!_ She hung up on him...

This was going to go bad fast.

“so, how much ya wanna bet she’s here in five?”

Papyrus lets out an annoyed growl, one hand coming up to rub away the headache that was probably forming already.

“Go Inform The Children, They Should At Least Have Some Heads Up About Her Arrival." Papyrus orders. Sans easily picks up on the sudden weariness creeping into his voice and decides not to argue for once.

"kay boss."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Been looking forward to these chapters, so I'm glad I finally got them done! Thank you for taking the time to read, criticism is always appreciated!


End file.
